Legislative Institute Against Redneck Shooters (LIARS)
Editorial: By Tom McHale
USA –-(Ammoland.com)- It’s time to fight fire with fire. Or whoppers with even bigger whoppers.
One thing that we’ve learned over the past couple of years is that medium scale whoppers need not apply. Those get questioned and challenged. If you want to tell a whopper and get away with it, is has to be epic. Huge. Outrageous. Then, and only then, it’s sucked up by the media and public like Deep-Fried Snickers Bars at the State Fair.
You may be familiar with the American Hunters and Shooters Association – AHSA. AHSA is a shameless sham. Is that redundant? Even if it is, the label certainly applies as AHSA’s leadership is a ‘who’s-who’ of anti-gun rights rock stars. Collectively, their Executive Director, President, and board members have helped ‘protect’ the rights of American hunters and shooters by:
- Donating tens of thousands of dollars to the Brady Campaign – at the time known as Handgun Control, Inc.
- Serving as paid expert witnesses in frivolous liability cases against gun manufacturers
- Serving as consultants for the Coalition to Stop Gun Violence
- Making campaign donations to pro-gun rights champions like Barbara Boxer, Bill Clinton, Dianne Feinstein, Ted Kennedy, Carolyn McCarthy and John Kerry
- Serving as the leader of Stop Handgun Violence, the leading anti-gun organization in Massachusetts
- And more. You can find additional detail from the National Shooting Sports Foundation Fact Sheet
This organization is about as helpful to gun rights as Chocolate-Covered Bacon on a Stick and Fried Coke are to Rosie O’Donnell’s diet.
You see, anti-gun groups got smart and decided to fabricate an organization that sounded gun friendly so politicians could flock to it like, well, like Rosie O’Donnell to Chocolate-Covered Bacon on a Stick. The idea is to scrounge up a few more votes from gun owners. Ones that are still living that is.
So back to fighting whoppers with epic whoppers. It’s time to found our own shammy-sham-sham organization of fraud, lies, deceit, and general inappropriateness.
The Legislative Institute Against Redneck Shooters – LIARS.
Here’s the plan – stay with us here as it gets confusing: We create an organization that sounds really chic, elitist, and Hollywood-friendly on the surface. Then we do things like support common sense gun legislation, thereby getting what we want by telling really big and bold lies.
We’ll whip up a website – www.liars.com if we can buy it – and talk about the danger of shooters and guns to a utopian socialist society. Like Cuba or Venezuela. We’ll have feature articles that expose shooters, and especially redneck shooters, for what they really are – bloodthirsty carnivores that want to do uncivilized things like provide for themselves, be left alone, and work for a living. And of course, we’ll write frequent guest articles for the Huffington Post. We’ll be heroes and probably get lifetime invitations to the Academy Awards. And not in the cheap seats either.
Of course we would need some big names as board members to get the ‘street cred’ we need. You know, folks that have a proven track record of telling truly epic whoppers. We’re thinking we start with…
- Former President Bill “I did not have sexual relations with that woman” Clinton
- Former North Carolina Senator John “I am and have been willing to take any test necessary to establish the fact that I am not the father of any baby” Edwards
- Congressman Barney “I think this is a case where Fannie and Freddie are fundamentally sound” Frank
- And last but not least, Actress Lindsay “I don’t do drugs” Lohan.
We’ll need some funding from a handful of heavy hitters to get this thing off the ground. While I haven’t asked them yet, I’m pretty sure the folks from AmmoLand.com are good for a cool million or so. I hear they’re obscenely loaded.
See, succeeding in politics is easy. Can we count on your support?
About: Tom McHale describes himself as a conservative gun-totin’ bible-clingin’ literary assault dude who enjoys finding humor in just about anything. His web blog My Gun Culture is an irreverent, twisted look at gun news bordering on the ridiculous. It covers shootin’ stuff, loud noises, defending your own, the occasional mall ninja, and about 200 years of the American way. “These are the (partially) true stories of… My Gun Culture” says Tom. Visit: www.mygunculture.com